I DO HAVE A VOICE! Finally, my first real speaking role in a movie. If you wait long enough and try hard enough, eventually everything is possible. 

Over the last few months I've been really pushing my acting career. Going on multiple auditions. Most recently I appeared in a small project, as noted here on my blog, in Bell Express, as Mr. Button. While I was in it, and yes said some words. I actually didn't have a so-called speaking role. I was more a featured background. Close but no cigar.  
So getting cast as Bob in a film Virtual Reality Re Up, has been quite an exciting and eye-opening and life affirming experience.
Any worries, about my performance, my remembering of lines and who I was as this character was gone once I appeared on set. All my discussions with our director, James Wang were as I always hoped they would be. And happily when we were shooting I didn't do anything to blow my cover that this is all just an act and everyone will realize that I'm an artist pretending to be an actor, simply trying to live out my child hood dreams and fantasies.
In the film I play a music agent in a Virtual Reality game. And for me one of the highlights was being introduced to one of the actors in the film as the agent, and actually being asked by the actor "Why did I decide to take the star of the film as a client?" It took me a moment to realize what had occurred. And then explained to him, that "No, I wasn't his 'real' agent, I was playing his agent in the film." Then he looked at me and laughed and said "Bob?" Guess there was a reason I was cast in the role, I looked the part. Score. 
Since I made my decision to attempt my hand at acting, approximately 16 years ago, I've had a lot of reasons to give up this crazy dream. As I watch some of my peers get to their next level and I continue the struggle as the rest of your life tries to get you to give up… I mean how long can you try before maybe its time to give up? As my first acting coach told me, when I asked her at the end of our first year in Meisner, If I should actually attempt this, do I have it in me, or am I wasting my time… I watch American Idol, I see reality right in front of me… am I simply fooling myself?  Her response was an eye-opner:
"If I told you you sucked, would you stop?" I asked "Do I suck?" Her response struck home: "If you listen to what others have to say, maybe you shouldn't try." I of course asked her, "OK, but am I wasting my time, is this just a whim and a dream or do I have anything in me thats worth continuing my dreams"  And then she said "Neil, I gave you my answer"
In other words don't listen to others, listen to your heart. Of course again, a lot of people are deluding themselves, remember I watch American Idol and X-factor and…
That said, I walked out of the workshop that day, pondering her words… and still of course wondering if I was deluding myself… but still hoping that yes, I had it in me.
After that workshop, I began sending out my headshot and applying to gigs I thought I had a chance to at least be considered for. And within two months, after only my second audition I was offered my first acting role, in The 13th Street Rep's annual production of Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol. And I guess the rest is history.
So, finally after a lot of stage work, and lots of background work in film and television,  I am now finally getting to say actual words and to really feel like I've earned my membership into SAG-AFTRA. 

Neil